It takes courage to go out there and speak your mind. Sometimes you don't even open your mouth, but your mere truth offends and insults others, giving them the opportunity to judge you and condemn you, leading to your own self doubt and perpetual cycle of unrest. This feeling begins at a very young age, we find ourselves as insecure children eager to please our parents, our teachers and eventually our peers. We carry this compass with us throughout our adult lives, in our family, the community, at our jobs and with our chosen circle of friends. It is a soul crushing way of living. We let go of our personal power when we allow others the opportunity to live in our heads and hearts.
There are many situations in which consideration of others and their feelings is a noble choice, I don't think we must go about this life doing whatever we please without thinking twice about the impact it can have on others, but I do believe that the line is very fine between what is socially/politically/morally correct and what is authentically/personally/spiritually uncompromisable.
Sometimes to live a fully honest and genuine life we can't help but offend, hurt and even disgrace someone. The reasons for this outcome are several, it could be that we choose a path that does not, in any way, align with someone else's belief, or that natural evolution changed either participant, enough, that we no longer see under a compatible microscope. But more often than not, our desire to live our true destiny comes at the cost of recognizing and rejecting a pattern in ourselves that was caused by an imposition from someone else's choices. A clear example of this is parents who believe so whole heartedly in a way of life that it chokes the soul out of one or more of their own children for fear of judgment and rejection. Religion is one of many ways to recognize that. Another way I've seen this play out and experienced this personally, is by choices, good or bad, that a parent makes for themselves without any awareness of the impact and huge ramifications it will eventually have on their child. Outside of the spiritual truth, in the human realm, I did not choose to be born where I was born, I did not choose to have two powerfully contradicting cultures as my own, I did not make the choices either of my parents made for themselves, but all of those things without question, influenced me in both positive and negative ways.
I grew up believing it was my duty to protect others even when it meant living with unspoken pain and even shame. Our family behaved one way when we traveled, which under any intellectual perception, was a normal and healthy way, but for our own protection they made it clear it was taboo to talk about it when we were back home in our conservative culture in the Middle East. I understand as an adult why I was steered in one direction, and then the other by my parents, but I also realize now, as a wiser adult today, after my own struggles and challenges, that a model based on secrets and altered truths only fuels the fire of self doubt, of shame and of limitations.
The journey towards full self approval comes at the cost of upsetting, angering and even hurting others. It comes at the high price of alienating and sometimes losing loved ones for good. Make sure the choices you are selecting, ultimately make you feel deeply good about yourself, if there is a shred of doubt that who you are becoming makes you second guess yourself, then pause and ponder. Look around you and evaluate your life, are you moving forward and climbing uphill or are you feeling disturbed and even disgusted by your environment? To live your highest self and with deep convection that by doing so you will meet your life purpose, is perhaps, a worthy enough price to pay, because only then do you go from the sense of unworthiness to a self of pricelessness.
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